MY JOURNEY (3)

THIRD AND FOURTH YEAR: LEADERSHIP. DEALING WITH FAILURE.

My third year came with responsibilities. Few weeks into the new session, I was appointed as the head of my unit at the fellowship. To be sincere, it was a huge challenge for me. I knew quite well that it’s a sensitive position, and automatically, a lot was expected from me. 

It was just so clear that God really defended his interest in my life. Because, if it was based on my level of knowledge, self-development, or capacity at that time, I should not be put in such position.

It’s not like I’m trying to make myself feel small, but it was that bad. I mean, there were obviously people who knew better than me and had a larger capacity to lead people.

At a point, I was so scared, that I began to put pressure on myself because I did not want to fail. I was always thinking of fixing this or doing that. It was later on I learnt to balance things.

Lest I forget, as a central executive, I also had to move from my apartment to the fellowship secretariat. It was such a big deal to me, because it meant taking me away from the people and the environment I was already used to. 

Well,it was time for a change, I just had to adjust (lol). Apart from the weekly overnight meetings and prayers we had, living there thought me to a certain extent, how to tolerate others, focus on their strengths, and adapt to change. 

The whole process came with challenges that pushed me beyond the limits I had set for myself, made me want to know more and exposed me to what accountability, service and responsibility entails.

MY LITTLE NOTE TO STUDENTS AND CAMPUS LEADERS 

The courses we started doing in our third year, were definitely not the same ‘baby’ courses we did in year one or year two.

Certain courses looked so abstract. And the lecturer? Let’s just keep that story for another day (I know some of us will be able to relate with this). There was a course in particular that was giving issues right from the beginning of the semester. 

In fact, the score I had in the mid-semester test was nothing to write home about. The test was forty marks, so I knew that I had to prepare for the exams as if my life depended on it.

After much preparation, there I was on the day of the exam, going through the questions again and again as if I was looking for something. I had just realized that, out of five questions (though we were to choose three), I could answer only one completely.

It was the first time I experienced such. Cheating was not an option for me, so I answered the question I could do very well and tried to solve the other questions (even though I had no idea about them). 

After a while, I submitted my script and hoped that everything would turn out well.
I was quite nervous as I moved to where the results were pasted months after the examination.

Usually, on the result sheet, there is a column allocated for commendations/outstanding courses. Students who have a grade point of 4.5 and above in a particular semester are placed on the dean’s list, and are subsequently given a letter of commendation for an outstanding performance. 

On the other hand, if a student has an outstanding course, it shows that he/she has failed the course, and is required to re-write the course the next session. 

So, if a student has a grade point of 4.5 and above, it will be indicated on that column that he/she has been placed on the dean’s list. Likewise, if he/she has failed a course, that particular course will be written clearly on the same column.

I got to the notice board and was able to locate my matriculation number in no time. As I traced my number on the sheet, I discovered that there was something written in that particular column. 

This time, it was not because I had made it to the dean’s list. It was because I had an outstanding course. In other words,I failed the course.

The same course I had issues with from the beginning of the semester. Ha-ha! I remember vividly that my body temperature changed instantly when I saw it.

Some of my mates found it hard to believe when they saw my result. It was not like I was the best student in the department, but at least I always had good grades. 

To be sincere, it affected my mental balance for a few weeks (it felt like I was the first person to have an outstanding course). I was absent-minded during lectures and other important meetings.

However, I also had to think back on the reason why I had failed the course. Was ‘my best’ not enough? Was it because it was too difficult? Was it my leadership responsibilities? Or was it because I wasn’t paying attention to it from the very beginning?

After much thought, I realized that it was because I gave it less attention from the start. I should have dealt with it right from the beginning of the semester, when I discovered that it was becoming an issue.

Instead, I kept piling everything up. It was like putting myself in a tight corner, such that the little time I had to prepare for the test clashed with other responsibilities I had in the fellowship. Which resulted in placing myself under unnecessary pressure, and ultimately leading to a poor performance in the mid-semester test.

If I had done better in the test, at least I would have passed the course. Now, what I am saying is this: As much as praying to God for help is very important (especially when one encounters a course that seems difficult to comprehend), the place of making sure you go the extra mile to understand it should not be ruled out.

Going the extra mile involves not limiting yourself to what is thought in class alone. I discovered that when one goes the extra mile to research about a course or a subject matter, it broadens your knowledge about it and consequently aids understanding.

Most times, it is the unwillingness to put that ‘extra effort’ that leads to an average or a poor performance. Going the extra mile also involves trying to meet up EARLY ENOUGH with those who have a better understanding of the course.

Tackling it early enough reduces pressure (especially when you know you have other responsibilities). Most importantly, work on your mind and fill it with the word of God. If you believe the course is too hard, then that is what it will turn out to be. Likewise, if you believe that you can overcome it, no matter what, you will get the same results.

 

AND IT ALL ENDED IN PRAISE…

When I got to my final year, I was appointed as an executive again at the fellowship. It looked like an extra burden for me to carry.

Truth be told, I felt what I needed to do at that point, was to concentrate on my academics fully. Considering the fact that I had to face my final year project, and the outstanding course I had to do in addition with the other courses that semester. 

I just knew that I had to lean on God for strength, if I was going to manage everything effectively.
It was time for me to face what had bothered me since I saw my result the previous session. I remember I felt so awkward going for the first class (I mean the outstanding course) at the beginning of the semester - but hey! - I didn’t have a choice. 

I had to face it, if I did not want to have a poor grade again. Anyone who has experienced such understands the feeling. Well, at the end of the day, I passed the course. Although the whole process was not as easy as I have just typed(lol). 

Thank God, I also had friends who supported and encouraged me from time to time. It really helped. That is why it is important to open up to close friends or people you know can be of help in one way or the other. This would help keep your balance, and will also make sure it does not affect your responsibilities (if you are in a leadership position) and other important areas.

Knowing that you are not in it alone, makes the burden easier to carry.
If you failed a course due to unforeseen circumstances such as ill health, or something even worse which affected your balance, that’s a different case.

Trust God to help and empower you. Trust me, it’s a phase, and it will surely pass.

 
This is my story. The things I mentioned above are what I feel should have been put in place at that time. Nevertheless, understanding yourself and what works for you is very paramount. In fact, it cannot be overemphasized.

 
For campus leaders (both religious and political positions), this is a subtle reminder that your responsibilities should not be an excuse for poor academic performance.

You can balance both if you sincerely depend on God for strength, and if you are also willing to put some extra effort.

 
Lastly, I cannot help but mention that I enjoyed the mercies of God in my final year. I really did. Just before I drop my ‘pen’, here are some additional lessons I picked up from this phase.

(1) As a leader, you do not have to do everything by yourself. Learn to delegate. It helps you not to get worn out, and it helps you build responsible leaders. That means certain tasks can be carried out even when you are not there.

 
(2) Growth is a process. And it comes with responsibilities and challenges that will sharpen you. You are in no competition. Take your time to make sure that you are deeply rooted in God.

 
(3) Respect the sacrifices of your leaders. They are humans, and they also have issues they are faced with from time to time.

 
(4) Every circumstance or situation is a phase. It won’t last forever. It will pass. And by the time you are out of it, you will come out stronger and more refined.

STAY SAFE.

With so much love,

©️ MHOYEEN

I invite you today to accept Jesus Christ into your heart, if you have not. He loves you. And he wants you to radiate beauty and fulfill purpose. All you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth that God raised him from the dead to give you eternal life. Say this with me. 

"Lord Jesus, I come before you today. I believe and confess that you died for me and rose again to give me eternal life. Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for forgiving my sin. Thank you for saving me. I am born again. I am saved. I am a child of God in Jesus name, Amen."

If you said this short prayer, congratulations! You are a new creation in Christ Jesus.

Please send me a message. I will be glad to talk and pray with you.😊

Email: mhoyeenmo@gmail.com

Instagram: @mhoyeenmo